Saturday, July 21, 2012

Smoking? Not Me!

A week ago yesterday, I was still a smoker. It was pretty pathetic because it was so embedded in to my routine. I literally had my morning cigarette at almost the same time every day. I made sure I would wake up before the kids, make my coffee and steal away to the back porch to smoke and drink my coffee. I had been smoking for the better part of a decade. Minus of course pregnancy and breastfeeding. There were times when I was a pack a day ( or more ) smoker and times when I was only a "social" smoker. I was always going to quit eventually but time got away with me. My body is so saturated with nicotine that yes, it feels HORRIBLE to not continue to put it in.

I can tell you the first few days quitting were easy. I planned on quitting while I was at my Mommy's for the weekend, she kept us busy running ( literally ) and playing. I thought it would be rough when I went to see family, or came back to town because I was around smokers. That was actually not the hard part. I can stand right in front of my husband, while he is smoking, and not want anything to do with it.

It's the down time that is hard. Mind you, I don't have much of it. What little I have I use to blog or shower. But at night, when the kids are sleeping... My legs shake with anxiety over not having a cigarette. The other night, I literally was puking from "withdrawals". It has been miserable, but worth it.
There are already perks though. Going on my daily walk, I actually RAN and did not feel like crap. I felt like I looked ridiculous running behind a double jogging stroller that stands as tall as my chest, but I ran, and it felt so good! My taste buds are coming back. This I did not know much about until things started tasting funny a day or two ago.... Smoking destroys your taste buds!

Today is another day, and I am feeling good. Hopefully it does not end like yesterday... I almost smacked my husband for packing his cigarettes in front of me...

Oh... The biggest thing that keeps me from smoking? I just remember how every time I have "un-quit", that first drag of that first smoke, makes you feel like major crap. It taste's nasty, it makes me dizzy and pukey. I would rather feel jittery right now, than that for five seconds.