Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Parenthood My Way


I hate un-solicited advice. And unfortunately being a parent to twins, I am a big ass target at the grocery store, library and baby class I am a walking talking BIG ASS TARGET.

Most of the time it's a casual "Wow, you have your hands full!" I suppose that is not constituted as advice, but it is what comes afterwards. "My sister had twins and she NEVER left the house with both of them. It's just too much for one person to handle." Old ladies telling me that I am too young to have so many children or glancing at my ring finger and shuddering. Hello… I have a ring. A very pretty, very shiny little ring I just cannot wear it due to the fact that my fatty fingers are still like sausages from being pregnant with the twins.

It was a pleasant day today, and for anyone who knows me of course I was out with the babies. Running errands, going to baby class and grocery shopping without wincing at all. Both the babies will SCREAM if they have hats OR socks on. They will kick and pull them off. So I dress them as warm as I can without covering there heads or feet. I am talking jacket on top of shirt and pants on top of onesie. Thick clothing. It was damn near sixty degrees outside and some STUPID BITCH *excuse my horrific language* told me point blank… Well… Here…

Her – "You really need to put socks on those guys, they will catch a cold!"

Me: "Excuse me, do I know you?"

Her: "I don't think you look familiar, why?"

Me: "Oh, well I only accept rude, wrong and un-solicited advice from close friends and family members."

Her: "Well… Err… Umm…"

*Walks off casually…*

Again… Stupid bitch. You do not "catch a cold" from being cold. You catch a cold from the cold bacteria you get off of grocery cart handles, doors and maybe toilets or whatever. Not from being physically cold! And if you do not know some body, please for Christ sake; do NOT give them any advice what-so-ever. Maybe… And I am talking maybe if they have their child dangling by the toes from the shopping cart; say something or the child will get hurt. But if an ordinary every day mother is strolling around having a great day with her children then you should keep your mouths shut and enjoy a stolen glance from a smiling baby!

Maybe I was a little rude to the poor lady who just had my sweet children in her best interest. Or maybe she was just a baron bitch who thinks that she would have been a better parent than the rest of us.

Or maybe it was just another day in the life of me. And I will start a new tomorrow. We can only hope that I will end it with a better note than today. Much more positive? Maybe some actual laughter instead of this gift called sarcasm that god gave me.


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