Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Freaking out man.

Kaydons surgery is less than a week away. I am really dredding this. My head was completely numb with worry when we went to doernbecher for his consult. Until that fat nurse said that I would get to walk him to the surgery room and have to "give him up" at the operating room doors. I dont care if she would have said it differently, I still would have felt the same. Awful. No one wants to hand their baby over to someone who is going to cut them open! I think I am going to have to make Kacey be the one to hand him over. I won't be able to do that. Not without having a meltdown.
So they are going to slice him open. I am not ok with it. I keep trying to tell myself that I am ok with it. I am ok. See. Does NOT work. I am more ok with the slicing part. And less ok with the general anesthesia part. My mom's partner had a minor surgery and due to the anesthesia he stopped breathing for a few minutes, and is now forever brain damaged. So I might be jaded. But this happened to a 250 pound man. And they are going to put my 5 pound baby under. SO not ok.
On a different note, the Dr. said that the reason he has been sluggish to gain weight and eat is because of his hernia. So he will be a little slow to eat after the surgery for a couple days, but then his weight should sky rocket and he will catch up with brother pretty quick.

I BURNED MY THUMB! So it hurts to press the space bar, and after twenty years of typing, I has gotten so used to using my right hand for the space key that it is VERY hard to use the lef thand.

Mama

2 comments:

kitten said...

Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog. I don't really know the whole story as to why your baby will be having a surgery but I will surely be praying for you both, stay strong.

jdsmyrf3 said...

Thank you, that means a lot to us. He has a inguenal hernia, so it has to get corrected as soon as possible to avoid strangulation of the intestines. Tomorow is the big day, I think if I can make it through this, as a mom, I can make it through anything.